"Why Are You Doing This?"

I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the little habits I've picked up over the years in how I do things and what I do were the result of the ADHD. I check certain websites all the time, even though I could just as well check them every week. I stay online even when I'm not going to be around, checking to see if I have an e-mail (most of which I delete unread since they aren't specific to me). I read the newspaper every day even though I will recall almost nothing of it the next day, except for a few of the comics. Seldom do I find anything in my newspaper that I haven't seen on the web a day or two before. I read columnists whose opinions I no longer respect because I've gotten in the habit reading them.

Even before I knew I had ADHD, I used to read the horoscope in the paper, until one day I asked myself "why are you doing this?" I don't believe in horoscopes, certainly not the one-size-fits-all type that shows up in newspapers. And I couldn't even recall what I'd read within minutes of having read it--even its stay in short-term memory was short. So I stopped.

So slowly on, as I notice them, I'm going to try to eliminate time-wasting activities that I've been doing because I've been in the habit of doing them. But not all of them--every life requires some time-wasting, and some of those habits I still find enjoyable, which is sufficient reason to continue them, although they may face a bit of modification.

One bad habit I developed was letting e-mails from some friends go "until I had more time to reply to them." All too often this has meant that I never get to them at all. Indeed, if the reply seemed like it was going to take awhile to "do it right," in my mind it would turn into an onerous task. Well, that feeling is gone now (except when the meds wear off) so it's time to catch up with some folks that I've left in my inbox for far too long.